I Haven't Forgot

I remember who I am now before God. I am really nothing and I control very little that occurs in my life. I am not saying I don't have choice but there is a providence that permeates my life that I don't fully comprehend. I am glad to a certain degree, it actually relieves a lot of the pressure that has been stored in my psyche. This 200 pound weight in my mind that tells me I have to do this and do that. It is a freedom to know Christ. At least that's what I keep telling myself. I am free that is. Free from worry and doubt and senseless musings about a future that I really can't control in the first place. I wish I had the faith of those around me sometimes but I don't. This walk with Jesus has been messy but well worth it. The alternative is not something I even want to think about it.